Every woman has a story. It belongs to you. My story is an unbelievable story to me. You would be amazed at what I have lived through. If you have a great story you should write too!
Spring is here and I have left my job once again. Everyone says “what job are you going to do?” or “normally people have another job before leaving one.” but I am not normal and I don’t want to fall back into the same routine I have been doing. There is a happier way to life and I had it once. I gave it up to get back on my feet and I’m going to get it back.
When I handed in my resignation, it felt like I was stepping off the edge of a cliff. Stepping into the unknown. I had no job set up for me to go to. And I refused to tell my mom that I had just become jobless.
Over the years you lose yourself. You forget what your passion is and where you are supposed to be headed. You get comfortable and lazy and fall in love with the life you are accustomed to. You worry more about everyone else around you than your own happiness or health. I need to stop settling and get back on track.
I have mortgages, student loans and bills to pay, but I was sitting in a
low paying job with no benefits and coming home miserable. I took 4 vacations in one year trying to ease my tension. It wasn’t a stressful job. none of the jobs I do ever are but somehow they don’t make me happy. Every now and then I stop to think “Am I searching the impossible dream?” What is this ‘follow your passion’
You have to take in life, you have to just breathe.
Sometimes life throws so many curve balls your way that you don’t know what to do or say and you just have to take the curve ball and sit with it, stare at it and just breathe. Meditate on where you want to be and come up with a plan for how you are going to get there.
But hey It’s only been 4 days since I handed it in. I have some passion hunting to be doing. I will let you know how it’s going.
Every now and then we need to escape. One of my favourite stories of my journey’s is the one where I ran away from society and went to live on a beach.
I began to believe my sanity was more important than the +$8000 I was making per month. I left my job at a TV station in the corporate world of Trinidad with a cushy office to go work in a bar cleaning puke in the toilets. Made my mom real proud. Needless to say she wasn’t happy.
When I left the TV station I intended to start my own graphics company. I thought if I push hard enough I could make it happen. It just so happened to be the beginning of the recession.
I tried so hard to get a job to pay my rent. I applied for every job I could find. I even applied at a pet store. They didn’t hire me because I had no cashier experience. I actually forgot I did. But even so, I had University graduate on there and that didn’t convince them that I would be able to learn how to use a cash register?
I prayed and needed someone to give me a chance. A man I knew named Nathaniel decided to give me a chance. I was going to be a bartender in a Lounge he owned. I loved my time there. Nate and I became great friends. I didn’t even realize I spent 2 years of my life there. I was allowed to be in charge of the things happening around me. I had a sense of control of my life. I threw parties for hundreds and even started my own little food business out of the lounge.
One day my mom came by to see where I was working and she said “When do you plan on getting out of here and getting a real job”. I saw it as my own space, but it wasn’t satisfactory to what society expected of a university degree holder…or worse, what my mom expected.
I began to feel very unhappy there… Restless. The last thing I needed was having people around me who were not supportive of me. And then one day I said I was leaving. I had nothing to go to, but I knew everything would be fine. I meditated and knew the path would show itself to me.
One day, I got the call of destiny. I sat in the airport with my friend Marcel to meet a man who had a job for us. He hired us to sell cell phones in Tobago. He paid for us to move there. Everything looked promising. It was another island and a fresh start.
After about a month of doing books and witnessing transactions, Marcel and I felt uneasy. It turned out he was scamming people by reselling damaged phones that people returned. He was selling them for hundreds of hard earned dollars. Marcel and I left because we refused to be part of something that hurt people. This wasn’t what we signed up for. Marcel had another path to go on at that point and so did I.
I went to the beach one day and stopped a jet ski operator named Aidan. I told him this was what I wanted to do. He was reluctant. He said “I’ve seen this before, you are probably just wanting to do this for a short time and you are probably running away from something. You aren’t going to last long here.”
I said I was running towards something! I just haven’t seen it yet.
He took me to meet Nigel at the shop on the other end of the beach. Nigel owned the shop. He said yes I can work with them. This was the beginning of a new adventure and another chapter.
I was born a free spirit trapped in my life! I have no idea exactly where in Boston… I guess I really am a no-wherian. My family and I left Boston when I was a lil over 3 years old, to go to the Caribbean. My father had gotten a job in St. Lucia. I remember clearly playing at the house. I remember the huge backyard and the big roundabout at the front of the house… which really wasn’t that big… turns out I was really little! LOL.
When I was 15 I was sent to boarding school in to finish my high school years and after a year, I left that little town where the boarding school was and moved out on my own to attend college in Ohio. I lived there trying to do my degree peacefully.
Seems normal so far, but somewhere along the way I messed up. And I keep messing up…only thing is that my mess ups always bring me to a new adventure. I get scared because I don’t know what is coming next. I just know I can’t live in a box when there is so much world out there.
Come along as I let you in on my 34 years of adventure that feels like 60. And I’ll fill you in on a few of the secrets that fill in the gaps!